The first time I went for a haircut with my favorite hairdresser in Stockholm many years ago, he started the consultation by sitting down with me for a coffee and a chat. He asked a lot of questions about the different roles I played, and what images I wanted to convey. His point was that for him to be able to advice on a haircut, he needed to understand the different aspects of my personality and life. He had a very good point... When I had to think about it, I realized that I had very different roles to play already then; At work I needed to look professional and "clean cut", after work I wanted a much more playful and funky look, then there was the sport and holiday activities where I needed to have a very simple look etc etc.
My point being that we are all actors playing different roles in life. I am slightly different at work than I am with my husband, my friends etc. I have many different interests that require slightly different approaches (not just hair styles :-).
When I told the world that I was pregnant, a new role was added to this list, the "mum-to-be".
Now when I speak with friends, family and relative strangers after that revelation, it seems that they only see the newest role addition - the mum-to-be role, which leaves me feeling a little bit lost. A friend who is just about to give birth called it a minor identity crisis. Yes, a very important and lifechanging new role has been added to my repertoire, and a few of my old roles are temparily dormant for health reasons, but I didn't take any roles away - I am still the same person playing all those different parts...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I went to the States with my husband and my first child when she was 5 month old. My husband worked and I was at maternity leave. I didn't get the question "What do you do for a living?" during all those six months. It was somewhat nice to have the permission to take off the "business woman tag" for a while. But there are limits on how much you can ignore a big part of your identity.
At one point I was attending a meeting with other international wives (yes, there was a club for us)at the university where my husband worked. We were asked to present ourselves: "Tell us your name, what your husbands work with and how many children you have."
I couldn't leave it to that, so instead off talking about my husbands career I told them about mine. Then the meeting continued with "Flower arranging".
Jikes! "what your husbands work with" eh? Takes you back to the 50:s doesn't it!? So glad you stepped up to that challenge before focusing on flower arranging :-) You know you are one of my best motherhood role models!!!
Keep it going!!
XX
Post a Comment