We ARE in f-ing Europe....

I have lived in the UK for 8.5 years now, and I will never stop getting really annoyed when people from the UK say that they are "going over to Europe". YOU ARE ALREADY IN EUROPE YOU IGNORANT LIMEY!

Heard an ad on the radio today on a London station, from a major airline:

- wow, where did Pete get that amazing tan?
- haven't you heard? Airline XX are flying TO EUROPE for as little as £XX?

Firstly, how can you fly to somewhere where you are already, and secondly, where in Europe do you get an amazing tan in February?? Traceys tanning salon in Essex??

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thank the flying spagetti monster for that!

Big big big sigh of relief today. Got the test results back from the lab, and we are LOW risk for Downs syndrome. You can never know for sure of course, but we are not in the category where they suggest more tests. Thank the flying spagetti monster for that!!! Now we can relax and also be honest to friends (we wanted to wait until these results were in, considering my age and all you get a bit scared about this stuff from all you read).

So apologies to friends we have lied to in the recent past.... I wasn't on a detox / driving was an excuse not to drink / no, I was never on antibiotics....

Phew.

Important note: Those of you who know me, and where I work - please don't tell anyone that I work with though!!! Not ready to tell them yet. Thanks!!

PS: The flying spagetti monster is the god I worship see here if interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster DS

Week 14: Where to go?

Trying to book a well deserved holiday for myself and the H, and finding it really difficult to find somewhere suitable taking into consideration that our normal holidays are not recommended for pregnant women (diving, skiing or other adventurous trips) and also, need to have "proper" food and stay out of the Malaria belt....

The H trying to be helpful suggested a wine district tour in SA..... he was not trying to be funny, he just didn't think.....

Where to go... where to go..... ???

Self-fulfilling prophecy...

I am at a conference with work today. A normally quite boozy affaire, so I had prepared a white lie that I had a throat infection and on anti-biotics therefore can't drink.

When I made this up, I had no cold or anything going on. That was yesterday.

Guess how I am feeling today?......

Week 13: Why are we doing this again?

Hurrah! It is the end of the first trimester - now I should (according to "the book") get renewed energy and not be so tired all the time (the book also says that this may simply be because I'd have gotten used to the tiredness etc by now...) Still waiting to feel less tired, but sure it will be here soon.

Had a wonderful weekend away with the H at a hotel with SPA on the seaside of England. It is easy to forget how close London is to the sea sometimes, so we decided it was time to remind ourselves. It was fantastic and relaxing, but can't help but really miss the old days when instead of going to bed ridiculously early saturday night (massage gave me a headache... and so did the football match from hell we watched at the hotel, my team was totally and utterly useless) we would go out on one of our silly evenings with lots of nice food, wine and silliness...

Also got slightly depressed at lunch in a country pub which was filled with kids and babies and the sound volume was extremely high, with both kids and babies screaming but even worse - their parents screaming in high-pitched voices, and chasing kids around the restaurant......

Why are we doing this again?

Billabong vs pinstriped suits

Complained to the H that nothing fits in the wardrobe anymore, "well, that is part of being pregnant" he very helpfully stated.... Yep, fat I am, but it doesn't look a bit like a baby yet, just fat... "The book" says it is too early to go out and spend lots of money on a maternity wardrobe and advices to borrow big T-shirts and Jeans from your partner to bridge you over...

Well... kind of think that the immaculately pinstriped men at work would raise one or two eyebrows if I turned up for a client meeting in baggy jeans and a big Billabong T-shirt...

Week 12: A REAL baby with a monster claw

Had our first "real" scan today (the one with the shrimp was too early), and it looks like a real baby now!! Hurrah, we are not having a shrimp. He/She moved around like crazy and showed off his/her headstanding skills etc. Absolutely amazing! This little thing is inside me? Just six cm long, but complete with two legs, two arms, two brain halfs (yep, we could even see the two sides of the brain...), a tiny little nose, and a monster claw (must be a sign of a strong personality!).

Probably the cutest six cm baby in the world!

Now they are doing the tests, and we will have the risk analysis in about a week. I am stupidly nervous about this, just want to know that everything is ok - or at least that the odds are on our side. You never know for sure. Another challenge for control freaks like me and the H. Fingers crossed there aren't any nasty surprises in my blood. Yep - the vampires struck again today; needed more blood they said.

Yeah right. The Queen vampire must have been hungry.

Week 11: Sursnipa

Not even going to attempt to translate this word; Sursnipa. Inside joke to my Swedish friends. But what it means is that I have been a bitter and twisted bitch this week. Totally true. The H got the most part of the rage (although should apologize to scared looking young Polish receptionist at the gym as well... a couple of people at work, friends... well everyone really).

On Thursday, the normally very considerate Husband said "A couple of drinks after work, then I'll be home for dinner" which eventually turned into him and a colleague falling into the house around midnight then having some wine and snacks in the kitchen talking with those extremely loud voices that drunk people use when they think they are quiet....

Four things sursnipan doesn't like about this:

1. I like to know when the H is having a big night so I can make counter plans
2. I like to sleep, and can't sleep until the H is in bed with me (not his fault this one though, even sursnipan realizes this)
3. I get insanely jealous that he can still have a fun social life (I would have normally joined him and his colleages, can't help feeling a bit isolated and left out, is it really fair that men only have to provide a short moment of pleasure to create a life, and women take ALL the rest until the baby is born? Can't we expect some social consideration at least)
4. Then finally, I feel bad about nr 3, as I would so much like to be the bigger person and be ok with the H having a good time without me... possibly the worst feeling of them all.

I promised myself never to become a "Sursnipa".... however that was in the days when I was the girl in the pub hearing about guys "boring wifes/girlfriends" who never wanted to go out or for them to be out having fun.....

The other shoe isn't very comfortable at all....

Week 10: The NHS is run by vampires!

Had our first midwife appointment today including an ultrasound scan. We thought we were having a baby, but we really are having a shrimp! About 3 cm long shrimp. Amazing. Also found out we are one week less than we thought so can’t do any of the dreaded tests this week.... Have to wait another two weeks.

The H is convinced that vampires are running the hospitals in England... they took four containers of blood for me, and he reckons that 75% of that goes straight to the vampire queen.

I do hope they are not planning to keep our little vampire shrimp when it's born?

Vampires or not, very sweet and competent midwifes. Very impressed. Also, a fairly new hospital wing that doesn't feel like the 3rd world (like any other NHS experience I have had during my 9 years in blighty) and best news of all, I don't have to go back to my awful GP in that dirty looking house with the most stupid receptionist of all times... they can send me to a local health centre in between hospital visits. Y ippey! It can only be better!!

Weeks 9: Unpasteurized cheese, predator fish and alcohol

Bored, bored and even more bored this week. Am avoiding social events, as don't want to lie to friends and other people about why I am not drinking.... which of course results in total boredom. Can't wait until we feel safe to tell the world. Surely things will be easier then.

Had an offsite work confererence in the countryside of Sweden this week. Thank the flying spagettimonster that I only work with men... A woman would surely have seen through me, and known I was pregnant by the first coffee break... There were unpasteurized cheese, predator fish, and lots of fantastic wines on offer that I had to navigate around (quite clumsily...)

Three signs of pregnancy in one day.... but I got away with it. I think....

Week 8: Dehydrated Vampire...

I am very lucky because so far (knock on wood) I haven't had to throw up. I am feeling constantly nauseus though. Especially triggered by smells like scented candles, fried food, garbage, smokers, alcohol smelling husbands.....

However, I now know that I never knew what tiredness was before. I know we hear about this from pregnant women (not to mention new parents... I guess this is just a boot camp to get ready...) all the time, but it IS quite mindblowing. Read in "the book" (I got this book that tells you week by week what happens) that there would normally be 3% of my blood stream going to my uterus, when pregnant that increases to 25%..... wow. Even though everything in the body speeds up now, blood moves quicker, metabolism is higher etc (although I know I will be big as a house anyways) that has got to be exhausting, all that blood travelling through to the little shrimp. He/She is also extraordinarily thirsty... i am constantly dehydrated and need to fill up on water every two minutes.

I think the shrimp must be a very dehydrated vampire....

Week 7: Sharing the news with BB

Agreed with the H, that it would be ok to share the great news with my best buddy, BB. So during a loooong walk and an even looooonger lunch I got to talk and talk and talk about the changes, and get supportive advice from wise BB. It was pure bliss. She may not have her own children yet, but knows more about the process than most mums... and her sweet involvement in the whole adventure is heartwarming.

My husband is GREAT to talk with, best in the whole wild world, but let's face it... he is a man... and other than the H, we have only shared with our parents, and whilst both my mum and the mum in law are also very supportive, it is more than 35 years ago they had their last babies (= the H and I...) so their insights is limited (however the mum in law is quite well read on most subjects including child birth and asked me if I had considered a pool birth, when I said no, she said she didn't blame me, as wouldn't you be scared of the baby drowning? Very cute :-).

Week 6: Twin Peaks

First party to attend, as pregnant, this week, and as we are not ready to share, have to come up with a good excuse to not drink. Good thing it is January - a lot of people go on detox this part of the year, so that was my excuse..... Think they even went for it.....

The H promised not to get too drunk, so that I could have someone to talk with, that kind of worked for about 1/3 of the party - then he joined the other mentally retarded group of incoherent and weird people.

Before I write anything else, you need to understand that I am an equally big party person as the H, and most of my friends. I surround myself with people that like to have fun and we usually, all of us, get into that weird state of alcohol induced stupidness. So I have no high horses to sit on.

So this is just a finding. Being sober around drunk people is downright scary. Not to mention boring as you can't really talk with them, when they escape into that weird state of mind where only other drunk people can reach them.

Like being behind the red curtain of Twin Peaks really.....

Week 5: My husband aint no Jaffa!

There were a few signs around christmas at my parents house.... my period was late but more importantly, I simply couldn't face drinking Schnapps with the christmas dinner (Swedish tradition... something I normally like), it was physically impossible.... so the H and I escaped the family claws, bought a stick, and went into the local coffee house so that I could use their toilet... and, it was BLUE. We were pregnant! Went out to the H and as we were in a public place, couldn't scream and shout, but we could smile. And smile we did. We simply couldn't stop!

We decided to tell my family right away - and then to tell the H family at New Years. Utter joy everywhere (except mum who said "ahhhh, I wish you would have told me MUCH later so I didn't have to worry for SUCH a LONG time" - hmmm... thanks for that note or reassurance mum...but I know that worrying is how she shows love, or something - anyways, she means well!)

The H wanted to send texts to all his mates saying "I aint no jaffa"... but I stopped him.