The end of this blog...

Sorry peoples who still find their way here every now and then. I am closing this blog. Simply no time nor inspiration and the thought "should be updating my blog" was beginning to feel more stressful than fun...

Toddler E's blog is still going strong though. If you don't have the url get in touch with me via e-mail and I'll send it to you.

Thanks for all your support and inspiration during this blog, I've truly enjoyed it!

L XX

Sweden 1 - UK 0

As a Swede living in the UK I am mostly assimilated into the UK culture. Sometimes I found my adopted country (Sweden will always always be nr 1 just to make sure that is clear...) a bit quirky and amusing, different, interesting. But rarely totally and brutally alien to my values.

Here is an exception. It is still allowed to spank your children here. In 2010.... How??? There is recent pressure from "Europe" to outlaw any spanking and the press and the public comments are quite alien to me. The amount of people who get upset about the potential outlawing of parents hitting those smaller than them, who will not understand the reasons why their behaviour justfied pain, and who will become confused, insecure and more violent themselves (fact! how many research reports on this subject do we need?) as they see it as a "nanny state" trying to control every aspect of the citizens' life, and "I got spanked as a child and it did me good" harr harr

What a load of bollocks....

Heja Sverige! Sweden was the first European country to outlaw any violence to children back in 1979!

Energy hunt

I've written before about the lack of balance in my life - it's all work and toddler E at the moment, leaving very little energy for my husband, friends, health and hobbies... I've realized that it's not even the lack of time (even though that is a contributing factor - what did I DO all the time before toddler E??) - more important is the lack of Energy - so. An energy hunt is needed.

First, what do I get energy from?

1. Toddler E
2. The H
3. Work
4. Exercise
5. Fresh air
6. Healthy food
7. "Me" time

Toddler E and Work also crave so much energy for me, that I don't think I can gain surpluses from there and the H is currently himself so drained of energy there is none left for me. So believe that I need to make more time for 4-7 and that should give me more energy to spare on 1-3... Simples.

Good thing is that spring is in the air so I can go running more often - maybe even in the early mornings... that would be a good combo of both 4 and 5. Healthy food - just need to get back in control of that one - and "Me" time, is hard but not impossible - just takes a lot of planning.

There we go. Nothing is impossible! At least not on a planning stage....

Will let you know how things go in reality!

The FEAR

Lily Allen sings about The Fear. I feel it daily. I try to shake it off and live in the moment, but get overwhelmed by fear so often that I start to question my sanity. The Fear is about something bad happening to toddler E. Anything bad. Not allowed. Can't cope with it. Logic says to not worry as she is clearly on top of the world and happy as can be, but can't stop... Starting to understand my own mum so much better now.... Again, sorry for worrying you so much Mum! (not that she reads this blog, have kept very secret from family for various reasons, plus she doesn't understand much English, more of an editorial point...)

Our best time is NOW

So, ever since baby E was born, I've been wanting to freeze time as she's been so wonderful but just like so many seasoned parents told me, it's just getting better, and now, at 17 months, I really feel that it's the best phase so far. She is so much fun, loves goofing around, laughs most of the time, babbles the rest of the time and loves to cuddle. Can it really get any better??

YES we can!

Just a reflection. Have met a lot of new people at HQ in the US last week. A lot of mothers with very young children (maternity leave of 2-3 months in the US) at home, who are working long hours. But I haven't seen a lot of the European constant bad conscience about working too much, and not spending enough time with the little ones...

These are good, family oriented people as well, just to be clear

Are we just a little bit too spoiled in Europe? (actually make that Sweden and UK where I have experiences) and have we worked that typical Swedish "lutheran do the right thing" a bit too far? I mean, why should we feel bad about providing top class child care when we are working? (as long as we are spending good quality time with our children when we are not working...)

Oh - am definately NOT saying the US has got this right btw.... No way I could have parted with baby E only after 2-3 months

The FIVE legged stool

You may have heard the analogy about life being a three legged stool? One leg for family and friends, one for work attainment/career and one for your personal wellbeing/interests, hobbies etc. The idea is that you need to have balance in life, all three legs need to be equally long, otherwise you will fall down...

My stool has five legs.

1) Toddler E

2) Husband

3) Work/Career

4) Friends and other family

5) Me (exercise and other me-time)

Legs nr 1 and 3 are pretty stable and takes all my energy right now. Nr 4 is actually not that bad - it's easier to go out on my own with friends (and for the H on his own...) than for the H and I to do things together... hence nr 2 is not very stable at the moment, and leg nr 5 is non-existing...

The H pointed out the other day that he felt he didn't know me anymore as we never talked... ouch. That hurt. My reaction? Can we talk about this in January?

I just don't have any spare energy left.

Loving my job though! And things WILL slow down in Q1...